What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
