Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
