I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
