Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
