Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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