Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
