He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
