wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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