You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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