I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
