So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
