ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
