doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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