My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
