She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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