Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
