i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
