he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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