I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
where am i from again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
