And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize