nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
