And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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