Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
