The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
