So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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