My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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