Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize