Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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