i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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