3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
