I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He passed out mid-signature
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
