Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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