I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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