I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
