Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
