i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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