Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
