Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ladies don't puke and tell
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
