who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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