When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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