Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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