Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
pop tarts are not kleenex
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
