I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
