So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
