Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
