If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
