What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
