I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
