All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
