Already got asked if we're dating
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
