i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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