Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
