Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
