whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
