Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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