shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
