Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
