Sry I called you an 8
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize