you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
