....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
