Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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