we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize