just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Damn victory sex feels great
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
